The book says,
Three basic mechanisms for dealing with conflict are avoidance, accommodation, and collaboration. Use conflict resolution techniques on a regular basis when you are dealing with family conflicts and disagreements.
For example, when you are putting masking tape on the floor of the family room in order to separate your children from each other because you can't stand their incessant arguing, do so with a calm, thoughtful, and respectful demeanor.
Show them what courtesy, kindness, empathy, and understanding look like. Listen to both sides and demonstrate your desire for a constructive solution.
It may be necessary to restate their problem, paraphrasing it in their own words so both of them are satisfied that you truly understand.
Impress upon your children your desire that a solution can be found. At all times, speak calmly and avoid being confrontational and aggressive. When the optimal solution is found happiness and peace will again prevail.
One of the biggest mistakes I made with my kids was when they had problems and came to me instead of helping them resolve their problems by showing them the ways I always became chief problem solver in the home.
My kids are adults now and have problems solving their own problems.
As an adult I have found it doesn't get better. Right now I have some things going on around me.
Just For Today: I will not give power to my own conflicts right now.
From the book: Live Happy
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